bloggers sky

Other bloggers make me anxious and I don’t know why

I love finding new blogs to read and getting to know other bloggers on Twitter. Especially bloggers similar to myself. But there’s a part of me that feels intimidated by other bloggers.

I’m not normally a shy person. I could spark up on a conversation with almost anyone. But I’m easily intimidated, and I always have been.

Okay, don’t laugh, but there’s a boy in my class at college who terrifies me. There’s no reason why, he just does! I think we’ve spoken to each other twice before and only very briefly. He’s never done anything bad to me, he just intimidates me.

Sometimes during chats on Twitter I’ll send a tweet to a blogger that I haven’t spoken to before. Most of the time I’ll get a friendly response which is lovely. But it’s the times when I don’t get any response at all that bother me.

If it’s a big blogger with thousands of followers then I’ll feel kinda silly, like I shouldn’t have sent the tweet in the first place. If it’s a blogger with maybe 400 or 500 followers then I’ll be paranoid that I’ve offended them somehow.

Numbers in particular intimidate me. If I see a blogger with thousands of followers on my timeline then I’ll look at them differently to a blogger with a few hundred followers.

I don’t know about you, but when I was in primary school I used to look up at the big kids in the years above me and wish I could be like them one day. I used to wonder what it felt like to be in the older years. I’d never dream of speaking to the older kids but I always admired them from a distance.

Well, to me, when I look at a big blogger it’s like looking up at the older kids in primary school.

I’ve only been blogging since January but some bloggers have been blogging for years! They know other bloggers and they consider some bloggers their close friends. Sometimes I find it difficult to get my voice heard. It’s always hard to find a place in an already established group.

I don’t want to offend anyone because I’m not a bad person and I would never upset anyone intentionally. Plus I guess a part of me knows that bloggers are friends with other bloggers. So if I offend one blogger, four or five of their blogger friends might also dislike me too.

Now I’m not the type of person who desperately needs to be liked by everyone, but it’s nice to be liked. I’d much rather someone liked me than disliked me and I’m sure most people, if not all, would agree with me on that.

It’s especially important in the blogging community. Small bloggers like me need a little extra help and advice every now and then. Plus it’s useful to make connections with other bloggers in the community so we can support and promote each other’s blogs.

I’m not afraid of honesty. If I ask for an opinion on something I want an honest answer! I can accept constructive criticism. But there’s a fine line between honest, constructive criticism and rude comments.

Also, it might sound silly, but I’m kinda paranoid about my age too! I’m nineteen and I don’t feel young but I’m a few years younger than some of my favourite bloggers. I know some people judge others on their age, whether they know them or not. I don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression of me.

During my time in the blogging community I’ve seen highs and I’ve seen some lows. There’s often disagreements on my Twitter timeline, and they’re not always friendly. I’d hate to be the blogger that gets dragged into something or misunderstood. It’s happened to me once, and I hope never again.

I work very hard on my blog and I’d hate for my reputation to be damaged because of a disagreement or misunderstanding. Things can be easily misinterpreted online. Once the damage is done it can be difficult to rebuild a broken reputation.

Plus, when disagreements take place in such a public way other people will have their opinions too. Not just the people involved and their close friends, but other bloggers watching from a distance.

I know I’m an anxious person and some of my fears are probably completely unnecessary. However, I know for sure that I’m not 100% unreasonable all of the time.

I need your help though. Let me know in the comments whether you can relate to my fears. Am I being silly or realistic? Please be honest with me, and let me know how you feel too!

30 thoughts on “Other bloggers make me anxious and I don’t know why

  1. I totally get you. When I first started out last summer I was so intimidated by others and I felt like saying anything to anyone was wrong. It can be scary at times for sure so it’s not just you. I feel like now that I’m still in between, I’m not so much a “new ” blogger but I’m also not a seasoned one either. I’ve found that majority of people are so lovely but there’s the odd few who seem to attract some negativity so I tend to stay away from them. Sometimes you can tell who the genuinely nice people are and it’s great to interact with them. At the end of the day everyone is trying to achieve a common goal, getting their content out there and sharing with others so I don’t understand why some people can be rude about these things.

    Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk

    1. I completely agree Jordanne. I don’t blog to get involved with drama or interact with fake people. I blog for fun! You’re completely right, there’s no need to be rude about anything. People should be more considerate of other people’s feelings.

  2. Just remember that every blogger started somewhere, even those who appear to have thousands of readers and followers! It didn’t happen over night and they too were your age once, trying to figure out this blogging thing.

  3. Hey Sophie,

    You’re definitely not being silly. I think Blogging has become something no one ever expected it to be and instead of it being the quirky kids in class expressing a niche hobby, thought or idea its become the mainstream, and most mainstream trends involve popularity. Being popular or being around people ‘more popular’ than yourself is scary as hell and mix that with shiny white photos of material things you don’t own, or pretty girls you’ll never look like its like Year 11 times a million because social media means its 24/7.
    Don’t get me wrong ; I love blogging. I love the internet, I love social media and I love the pretty girls. But I know i’ll never be that. So i’m gonna try and shrug off the intimidation and (sometimes) bad vibes and just try to be me. I’m hoping what Blogging is crying out for now is authenticity and real voices.

    I hope nothing I’ve said has come across rude or offensive – like you – I dont want to be misinterpreted as nasty. Just saying it how I see it 🙂

    Keep chugging on Sophie xx

    1. No you’ve not been rude or offensive at all Tabby! I agree with everything you’ve said. Thank you so much for reading and commenting x

  4. You’re definitely not being silly by any means, but I feel as though you do need to think less about things like this and just do whatever makes you happy – I know this can be easier said than done. At the end of the day, even the bloggers with thousands of followers are still people, they still have they’re insecurities and they’re not perfect with millions of friends. Even THEY might be going through the same thought processes that you are and you’d never know! Pop them a message, if they reply, great, if they don’t then it’s no big deal and nothing to worry about. I think we put people on too high a pedestal, not that what they do isn’t good, but they don’t need to be treated like royalty you know because they’re seen as ‘high up’ in the blogosphere! Hope you feel better about this soon 🙂

    Katie
    http://www.katiehodgkinson.com

    1. You’re exactly right Katie! I’m imagining these big bloggers to be some kind of blogging royalty or something. I need to realise and remember that they’re just regular people like me, just with a bigger following. Thank you for helping me to put my muddled thoughts into perspective! I always love reading your comments x

  5. I really understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes blogging can feel like a big club or a party you’re not invited to. I think the key is to remember that almost everyone feels like this. And everyone thinks they don’t have enough followers or their posts aren’t as good or whatever. Its just a competitive arena – especially when there are so many that want to make it a career. I often feel really out of it, and I have the opposite problem to you – I’m a lot older than most bloggers so I feel odd about that (Im 31!). I’ve been blogging for years and it bothers me sometimes that people start up and seem I just try to remember why I do it – I love writing and tell myself its not about getting thousands of followers for me. x

    Sarah | http://www.sarahdeluxe.com

    1. I’m glad you understand what I’m talking about Sarah, especially with you being a little older than most bloggers – you understand perfectly what I mean about my age. Thank you for reading and commenting x

  6. Loved reading this as it made me feel so much better that somebody else feels pretty much in the same boat. I actually feel intimidated by younger bloggers as I always feel like a bit of a failure for a 24 year old (mostly with where I am in my career) so it swings both sides!

    I just wanted to say as well, you were one of the people (along with Leanne, Becky and Charlotte) that made me feel really comfortable, accepted and confident!

    Was so lovely to meet you and I’ll definitely be scrolling through your blog all week at work! Xx

    1. You’re not a failure at all Rebecca! I’m so glad that we made you feel comfortable and confident. I would never want anyone to feel nervous or uneasy, especially at a blogger event. Hopefully we’ll see each other again soon! Thank you so much for reading and commenting x

  7. This totally resonates with me. I’m a jewellery designer and self taught. So I often feel this way towards people, who are further down the line or who have had formal jewellery education. With the age thing, I used always think people older than me either looked down on me, or were only friendly because they saw me as a project. Then one day I was chatting to someone, whom I found out, was 5 years younger. We were having a really good chat, and I suddenly realised how it would never cross my mind to look down on her. Since then I’ve not been so bothered about age. (I’m 26 by the way). With social media, I’ve found it helpful to change my thinking from “they must look down on me”, to “they may look down on me, but they may equally have been busy”, to “they were probably busy”.

    1. That’s a good way of thinking Ruth, I’m going to try that myself! Thank you for reading and commenting. I’m glad you can relate to my post.

  8. Hi Sophie,
    You are not being silly at all. I’m 27 and I can identify with everything you’ve wrote. I only started my blog in July but I feel so much like the new girl and I’m scared of coming across as too pushy, eager or desperate for blogger friends. I know I’m still finding my feet and I hope that one day ill have a nice little group of blogger friends.
    I just want you to know that far from being silly, not only are you completely normal, but you’re feelings are valid and they count. Never forget that xxx

  9. This post is so relatable! Whenever I tweet bloggers, I get this feeling that I’m annoying them, especially if I just get one worded replies or even nothing back. I think you need to bare in mind though, that some people who come across as rude are actually just very shy – I’ve been told in college that I can seem very intimidating to people who don’t know me. I’m very quiet and reserved so it takes me a long time to feel comfortable around people and the reality is that I find it very hard to think of something to say that isn’t boring and lame! I feel like this online too, like I’m not funny enough or can’t think of anything witty to respond with. So maybe, even though some bloggers have a large following and engage a lot with their audience, it might actually be a huge effort for them to think of something worth saying. That’s how I think of it anyway! Thank you for sharing this, I love personal posts 🙂

    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Sheena, that’s something I’d never have thought of. There really are hundreds of reasons why someone might not respond to a tweet or a message. I’m glad you enjoyed the post!

  10. This is such a brilliant post and I can really relate to everything you said. When I’m on Twitter I just don’t want to come across as annoying to other bloggers. I just like to think they were like me once too and started exactly the way I have so hopefully they won’t find it annoying if I tweet them saying “Really loved your blog” or something along those lines. I would say I get intimidated by other bloggers because they are everything one day I inspire to be. Even writing this comment made me a little anxious but after reading this post I knew I had to share with you that you aren’t alone and I feel exactly the same.

    1. I’m so glad you left me this comment Sam! I’d never want you to feel anxious when talking to me. Thank you for reassuring me that I’m not alone, you’re not alone too!

  11. Thank you so much for writing this and putting it out there! Although have have anxiety, this was brave and seriously kick ass.

    I’m really sorry if I or anyone else made you feel anxious during twitter chats – honestly I’ve only just started blogging since May and feel quite similar to you sometimes. It wasn’t helped by hearing a handful of bloggers at an event comparing follower numbers and talking about other bloggers (bleurgh).
    But the majority are kind and understanding – I’ve had a remarkable amount of support regarding my mental health from the community. And already you can see here that most bloggers may simply not know or have never met anyone with anxiety and want to know how best to act. They are the awesome ones – worth meeting and keeping in touch with – regardless of follower count

    Hope you continue to have positive experiences and hit those anxious thoughts with a truth bomb. Bloody difficult but if you ever need to talk, I’m around.

    Love Becca x
    http://www.mytwoblackdogs.com
    @mytwoblackdogs

    1. Becca thank you for reading and commenting! Your comment is lovely and I honestly appreciate it so much. I don’t think I’m brave or kick ass at all! I don’t think I’ve ever been called kick ass before. I’m just too honest for my own good, that’s all! Please don’t be sorry! I doubt you’ll have ever intimidated me in a blogger chat before, your comment isn’t intimidating at all. I think the problem lies with my insecurities rather than other bloggers. I doubt that any blogger who has intimidated me in the past intended to. I find the support in the blogging community for mental health in particular is incredible! I think it’s something a huge amount of us struggle with so we can all understand and be there for one another. Thanks again Becca, I truly appreciate your kind words! I wish you all the best, and if you ever need anyone to chat with then I’m here too! xx

  12. Great post! Isn’t it strange how there are times in our life where the feelings of high school resurface causing us to doubt and worry what others may think of us? Trust me, at 55 it still happens from time to time. 🙂

    Venturing into a new realm such as blogging can be very intimidating. You are sharing who you are and there will be those who like you and those who don’t. As long as you stay true to who you are, then that is what truly matters.

    1. Thank you Kathi, I really appreciate your comment. I always try and be myself when it comes to my blog, I wouldn’t want to do something I don’t care about or say something I don’t mean. I think it’s the best way.

  13. Thank you for such an honest post and yeah, lot of it applies to anyone who is new to this (blogging). Folk may say I am not since had mine since March but considering I have managed to get very few posts up am still pretty new to this whole thing. I am determined to not be upset by numbers (mine are way low) even though esp in IG it is terrible trying to get follows and the whole f/uf game and automated comments that wind me up 😉 The age thing I have but backwards – so we all must get it. You think some might see you as ‘too young’ for a valid opinion but at the same time I am not now putting my age on my posts/blog because I don’t want folk to just skip me based on a number they might think is ‘too high/too old’. Judge me by my writing. Follow me if you like what you see. Keep at it and don’t let them get to you or your insecurities to hold you back 🙂 Much love from Scotland,

    1. Bless you, thank you so much for your kind comment! You’re right, people should judge you based on your writing and not your age. As long as you love what you’re doing then that’s all that matters.

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